G saves the day...

He just noticed that we actually started the blog on January 2nd.

Woohoo, we get to go to sleep!

Day 347: Fake Flowers

I bought these flowers for a craft project and have held onto them for so long that I do't even remember what the intended project was.

DESTINATION: Goodwill?

Day 346: Oil Dishes

I love dipping bread in olive oil. I love it a little too much. So for the sake of our midsections, we tend not to buy giant loaves of Italian bread to dip in olive oil at home. But we did save the olive oil pourer (?) that came with these dipping bowls, because we needed one and almost bought a brand new one without realizing we had one buried in our hutch.

DESTINATION: Goodwill.

Day 345: Album

We have a few of these albums, and I rarely print things out that I'm not going to hang on the wall. So I kept one for Instax prints and the other....

DESTINATION: G's sister, who very faithfully prints things out and puts them in albums.

Day 344: Glasses

These glasses are super-cute, but they're only timely one day a year, and we have very minimal storage space in our dining room right now. By which I mean we gave away all our dining room furniture and everything is in boxes on the floor.

DESTINATION: Goodwill.

Day 343: (Genuine! Authentic! Big Bucks!) Napkin

I threw this napkin in the trash pile, thinking it was just an awkward single linen napkin that we somehow acquired, but G informed me that it was not just any napkin, but a napkin from Big Bucks Brewery in Michigan, the site of many good times that I did not get to witness because I was 600 miles away which is probably a good thing.

DESTINATION: Trash. It's okay though, we still have the Big Bucks pint glass.

Day 338-342: Twist

I was an editor at Twist from 2001 through 2007 (except for the year at Penthouse), and as I mentioned in my earlier Penthouse post, I'm a nerd and I saved every issue. I caught my clips folder up through 2005, so that's five years' worth of issues -- I'm counting a day per year :) Whatever. It's 12:33 on January 1st.

We found some historical gems in there -- could Destiny's Child be breaking up? Is Justin growing apart from N*Sync? Is Britney getting too sexy?! Awesome. And yeah, I think that's Sisqo in the bottom corner.

DESTINATION: Recycling.

Day 336-337: TVs

We decided to get rid of the TV in our bedroom and replace the one in our playroom with something that doesn't weigh a million pounds (thanks, Black Friday!).

DESTINATION: Craigslist.

Day 335: Cooler

This cooler is super cute -- but we have three portable coolers and this one is the leakiest.

DESTINATION: Goodwill.

Day 333-334: Dremels

G bought himself a dremel from me for Christmas, so...

DESTINATION: One in the trash, one to his brother.

Day 332: Airwalks

G decided he's no longer an Airwalks kinda guy.

DESTINATION: Trash

Day 328-331: Shorts

More casualties of G's decision to stop hanging on to the fat clothes...

DESTINATION: Goodwill.

Day 319-327: Nine Years of Penthouse

I relate pretty much everything in my life to Friends episodes, and in this case, this is totally like "The One with the Free Porn," where Joey and Chandler got free porn channels through a glitch in the system and refused to turn off their TV because they couldn't be the guys who turned off free porn.

In other words, it literally PAINED us to toss these. I'm pretty sure no one bothers to read this unless they know me pretty well, but just in case -- I worked on staff at Penthouse in 2003, which was an awesome job (and not just because of our office's proximity to Chipotle!) and I still write for them, which makes me super-happy. But I'm a nerd and save every magazine I get published in, so I had around 100 issues piled up on my shelves. It was kind of taking over my office, and with two toddlers wandering around, I figured there's no time like the present to consolidate my clips into a binder -- which took forever, but saved me a ton of space. Plus it was fun to look back at everything I've written over the years.

And I still have a fab Penthouse souvenir -- because you'll have to pry this mug, a gift from my fave former coworker, out of my hands. I've been drinking my coffee out of this for the past nine years :)

DESTINATION: The magazines are awaiting the next recycling pickup (so if you want 'em, act now).

Day 318: Cow Ears

I did actually wear these for Halloween this year. But I don't think I need to keep saving them, no matter how fantastic they look on me.

DESTINATION: Goodwill. (You never know.)

Day 316-317: Polos

G owns a lot of polos. Now he owns two less. Or...two fewer.

DESTINATION: Goodwill.

P.S. I have the WORST FREAKIN' CASE OF HICCUPS AAARRRRGGGHHHHHH.

Day 315: Big Comb

I can barely do my own hair...I don't know what I thought I needed this wide-toothed comb for.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 314: Office Sign

G got me this sign for my home office, since I'm obsessed with The Office, even if it's jumped 62 sharks and Andy Bernard is the worst boss ever. But Travis got a hold of it. And now it looks like this. So perhaps I'll stop displaying it.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 313: Fossil Watch

G loves this watch. Loves, loves, loves. But it runs out of batteries approximately once every three days (okay, I'm exaggerating, but that's what it seems like) and he got a more awesome as a gift from Darbig, and he got a new awesome job where he can actually wear a decent watch to work without accidentally melting it with a welder or whatever. Mostly.

Right now he's gazing dreamily over my shoulder and saying, "I loved that watch."

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 312: Bikini

I don't know if I've lost weight (ha, ha) or if the $12 nylon has just exceeded its life expectancy for elasticity, but this bikini now shows the very few things that a bikini is intended to conceal. Especially the bottom part of the bikini.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 311: Belly Band

If you're not familiar with the belly band, it's a strip of elastic that costs eleventy billion dollars (relatively speaking -- it's seriously a swatch of lycra) and lets you wear your jeans without buttoning them and without flashing everyone. I saved mine in case someone else needed it, and then when my nephew's gf needed it, I couldn't find the stupid thing. I finally found it behind a file box in my office closet (why not?) so here it is.

DESTINATION: Trash. It's pretty worn out. C is probably glad I couldn't find it.

Day 310: Racing Game

Another video game of unknown origin.

DESTINATION: Goodwill.

Day 309: Sport Coat from the Days of Yore

G looks so dapper in this baggy navy blazer. You'd be CRAZY not to hire this guy!

DESTINATION: Goodwill.

Day 305-308: Tops

Four tops I don't wear anymore, mostly because they make me look preggo. (I mean the ones on my arm -- not the sweater I'm actually wearing in this photo, which I've basically worn every day since Christmas.)

DESTINATION: Hand-me-downs.

Day 301-304: More Socks

Just some more socks I don't wear. Especially since I discovered the magical knit socks from American Eagle and never want to wear anything else again.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 300: Trouser Socks

Found these in my stocking drawer and I'm not entirely sure of their function.

DESTINATION: Hand-me-downs.

Day 299: Fridge-to-Go

When we registered for baby items, we had a small panic attack in Babies R Us and went to our friends Jamie and Jay's house to ask what the heck various baby items did, and what ones we actually needed. This was one of the things they said we had to have. And they were right! This functioned as our "upstairs refrigerator" for middle-of-the-night feedings and was crazy useful. But once the boys both started sleeping through the night (mostly....ahem, Travis) we only needed a daytime cooler, and this isn't big enough for two boys' worth of beverages. But seriously -- if you're having a baby, get this thing.

DESTINATION: Goodwill. Two babies later, it's still in awesome shape.

Day 295-298: Cardigans

I promised earlier this year that I would curb my jacket addiction, but apparently I replaced it with a cardigan addiction. I decided the actual number of cardigans one person needs is around three, so here are the ones that didn't make it. This was inspired by a photo of me shooting a wedding in which I look like the  Pillsbury Dough Boy courtesy of the flared waist of one of them. The other ones just make me look like 10 pounds of potatoes in an eight-pound sack.

DESTINATION: Hand-me-downs.

Day 294: Jeans

My love for these jeans is twofold. First, they're the most comfortable jeans on the planet. Like pajamajeans but not fugly like actual Pajamajeans. (I didn't know those existed until I stood in line behind a woman exchanging a pair yesterday at Bed Bath & Beyond. Not returning -- exchanging. Like, she was very happy with that gift but needed them in a smaller size.) And second, they're Rock and Republic and I scored them for $29! No joke. $29.

I wore them pretty much every day for over a year. When they got a hole in the knee, I was like, "They're distressed! Still good!" But then the ass started wearing out and G told me it was time to let them go.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 288-293: Bath Toys

The boys have a lot of bath toys. We culled out the ones that were meant for the "6-month-and-under" crowd. Besides, these days they just want to dunk their expensive wooden Thomas trains underwater, because nothing is better for wooden toys than a soak in the tub, right?

DESTINATION: Goodwill.

Day 287: Knit Hat

I imagined this hat would make me look cute and cuddly like Zooey Deschanel in Elf. Incorrect assumption!

DESTINATION: Hand-me-downs.

Oh crap, it's December 31st.

Just put the kids to bed. Can we post 78 items in 75 minutes? There's only one way to find out!

And yes. This is what our New Years Eve celebrations have come to -- speed-blogging.

Day 283-286: Coats

I think we already did a coat-closet purge, but we still have way too many coats.

This one is about eight years old. A nice peacoat can totally last eight years, but this one was $34.99 at Old Navy.

This jacket is even older. G got it in eighth grade, and I think he intended to hang onto it until it was eligible for QQ plates. Oh, did I mention he's lost about a bajillion pounds since then?

An engineer worth his salt would never be deterred by a broken zipper pull! Jacket is STILL GOOD!

Again -- some pounds have been lost since G bought this trash bag.

And some damage has been done.

And one more from me -- I got this on super clearance at Pac-Sun while preggo last year because I needed a coat that would zip over my giant belly. I think it make me look like Michael Jackson. G thinks it makes me look like the Fonz. Either way, probably not a good look for me.

DESTINATION: Some trash, some in the coat-drive bag.

Day 282: Pineapple Trash Can

Wait, the title doesn't make sense when I look at the picture. But there really was a pineapple somewhere on this trash can -- it must be on the other side. Anyway, this was in the downstairs bathroom in our old house, and there was no good place for it at this house.

DESTINATION: Goodwill. (I accidentally wrote "trash can" because it is a trash can.)

Day 281: Vintage Mirror

This mirror was hanging in our downstairs bathroom when we bought the house. When we renovated the bathroom, G took the mirror down to install a medicine cabinet and found a giant hole cut into the wall behind it. Hello, time-saving!

DESTINATION: Craigslist. (The dust was included free!)

Day 280: Frame

I took a picture of the back of this frame in case it was a gift -- I didn't want it to be identifiable. But now it's not identifiable to me either, and I don't actually remember what it is or why we got rid of it.

DESTINATION: Goodwill.

Day 279: Ball and Chain

We've been hanging on to this since G's bachelor party. I think it's safe to toss it.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 278: Album

I take a lot of pictures. If I printed them out, I could basically fill a library. So I usually don't print them out. I put them on Facebook, which allows me to share my kids' cuteness with so many more people!

DESTINATION: Goodwill.

Day 277: Notebook

This is a notebook. We have too many, so we got rid of some.

DESTINATION: Recycling, and yes I ripped out the spirals because I'm that anal.

Day 276: CD Rack

George made this CD holder in high school shop class. He was really bummed to see it go. We tried to keep it alive -- we owned more than 25 CDs so we tried using it as a junk catcher, and a flip-flop holder, and a few other random things. But the slats kept falling off and we eventually decided to let it go.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 275: Wedge Pillow

George got this foam wedge pillow from one of his nerdy engineering places and was like, "Here, this injection-molded foam will support your obscenely large preggo belly." I'm paraphrasing. But this pillow really was a lifesaver when I was pregnant, because I gained 55 pounds almost entirely in my midsection and pretty much felt like my stomach was going to tear off of my body while I slept.

Here I am demonstrating proper usage (except for sleeping on the kitchen floor which I don't recommend):

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 274: Rad Plaid

This shirt was from a Halloween costume. Otherwise, we probably wouldn't be married.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 273: Red (?) Boots

My mom walked into our house when I had these boots sitting next to the trash can and said, "Where did you get those cute boots?!" She has a thing for red shoes so I'm going to let it slide. But if you can't tell their amazing quality from the photo, they are Kmart boots that I bought on a legit Blue Light Special in college for $7, wore for way longer than acceptable, and then spray-painted red (G says he gave them "the Krylon touch") for a Superwoman costume.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 271-272: Shoes

The shoes on the left don't fit right, and the shoes on the right look like bedroom slippers...if I were 92 years old.

DESTINATION: Trash. (Yes, I know Goodwill accepts shoes. But these are icky barefoot shoes.)

Day 266-270: Linen Closet Stuff

I had baskets and baskets of stuff in our linen closet. Some was expired, some was really expired, and some of it is gross and I don't know why we kept it (seriously, generic body lotion from the hospital?).

I'm counting it as a workweek's worth of stuff. I have no good reason for this, except that one day seemed like too few and 49 days seemed like too many.

DESTINATION: Trash.