Day 198: Raffle Tickets

Okay, if these were normal raffle ticket that I bought and lost, I'd just throw them out. That's normal trash -- just like I don't post every time I throw out a J. Crew catalog, broken toy, or expired cheese. But I've been saving these raffle tickets. They've been on my desk for well over a year, because they're special -- they're a souvenir.

Except it occurred to me the other day that I have NO idea where they're from. Fantasy Island? Ocean City? Point Pleasant? Piney Festival? I'm not a gambler. When did I even enter a raffle?

Anyway.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 197: Heart Barrette

Am I 12 years old? Am I a raver? Am I Avril Lavigne circa 2003?

No, no, and no.

Day 196: Silly Bands

Danger got these silly bands so long ago that...silly bands were in style. They were a party favor, but he was still an infant and probably would have ingested them. But I thought the design was cool, so I kept them. Maybe I thought I would bestow them upon him on his fifth birthday or something like that. Anyway, he's still a long way off from wanting to wear accessories (I'm lucky if he'll keep his shoes on for 10 minutes) so I'm getting them off my desk.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 194-195: Bracelets

I can't even start to comprehend how far behind we are, but we'll catch up one of these days! (Even if we spend New Year's Eve posting 82 entries.) (Although it would take away from our usual New Year's Eve excitement, which is playing ski jump on Wii Sports.)

I started by cleaning off my office desk. First things I found: A set of "silver" bangles that are 80% oxidized crap now, and a beaded bracelet that no one over age 11 should wear (but I did).

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 193: Floor Lamp

I'd been wondering why my floor lamp seemed to be tilted, so finally I picked it up to see if I could find a loose screw or something, and instead I found....

Nice.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 192: Craptastic Business Cards

Wow, Vistaprint, you'll give me 500 business cards for free?! That's such a great bargain! I mean, sure, you printed the front right-side-up and the back upside-down, but it was FREE! How can I possibly complain?

DESTINATION: Recycling.

Day 191: Rainbow Crayon

This one pained me to throw away. My friend Beata gave my boys this awesome crayon at lunch one day. It colors with every color at once! I LOVE IT!!! But so did Travis. He loved it like he loves Cheerios, or bananas, or other things that -- like this crayon -- he spends all day trying to forage and eat. He's surprisingly good at finding hidden crayons, so I finally had to throw it out to prevent any sort of technicolor intestinal events.

But B, you don't know how excited I was about this crayon. Give me another one in a year or two!

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 190: Classy Mints

I bought these mints for two reasons: 1) they were a dollar and 2) I liked the inspirational phrase on the box: "Would you like to suck on a mint since you already suck all the time?"

But the catch is that I hate mints, so I never opened them.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 189: Accidental Fat-Pants

These aren't maternity pajamas or anything like that. They're actually from college, when I was super-skinny from my steady diet of Fat Darrells and fishbowls. (What did I ever do to make you leave me, awesome metabolism?) But I wore them so much that the elastic completely gave out and now they fit like this.

DESTINATION: Trash. But hey, thanks, Victoria's Secret, for making pajama pants that will last 12 years.

Day 188: Sweethearts

Or whatever the hell they're called. Conversation hearts? I bought a few boxes on clearance around Valentine's Day because a few of my photogafriends had taken some adorable photos using candy hearts as a prop. Cute idea! But only if you don't have two boys who don't like getting their pictures taken. So for almost six months, George and I would have this conversation:

G: Can we throw the candy hearts out yet?
Me: No. I'm going to do something with them.
G: What?
Me: I don't know! Something! Just leave them!

Finally he suggested that a fun thing to do with them would be to take pictures for this blog and them throw them the *#&^ out. Win.

Please note George's heart says "HIGH FIVE" -- best candy heart ever.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Days 173-187: Frames

Another big batch. Lots and lots of picture frame. Black ones, wood ones, pewter ones, enamel ones...for awhile, Kohl's frame section was my happy place. One frame was a fishbowl with a 1.5" round opening. I thought that was useful, I guess.

And yes, I wear this gray shirt pretty much every day of my life.

DESTINATION: Goodwill.

Day 172: Tint

Do you know how much a good tint job costs? A few hundred bucks.

Do you know how much a good tint job does not cost? $2.99.

That should have been a red flag not to buy this peel-and-stick tint, which lasted about three days before a corner started peeling off, and then about three more minutes before Danger ripped it off completely.

We didn't bother applying the other sheets.

DESTINATION: Trash.

Day 171: Bucket

Damn you, Target. I go in for shampoo and end up spending $96, and it's because of things like this bucket. I'm like, "$9.99?! For that cute bucket?! I'm sure I can do SOMETHING with it! I'll have backyard parties and use it as a fun ice bucket! I'll plant flowers in it! I'll take newborn photos with it!"

Two years later the verdict is: I will do none of the above. It's become a toy for Danger, who likes to unearth it when I'm not looking and throw it across the room, which makes the same noise as 40 psychos with lead pipes breaking into my house, or at least that's what it sounds like when I'm not expecting it.

DESTINATION: Goodwill.

Day 151-170: Movies, Movies, Movies!

I'm exercising my right to lump multiple items into a single post. Do you REALLY want to see individual photos of bad movies? Hopefully not. Plus we need to catch up. Plus, as bad as these movies are, it was hard to part with them. What if we suddenly get the urge to re-watch Dude, Where's My Car? What then?

Here's the box o' cinematic masterpieces:

And the contents:

DVD

• MISS CONGENIALITY: I love Sandra Bullock, but this is on cable like 27 times a week.
  
• LETHAL WEAPON 2: Ugh.
  
• MATCH POINT: Didn't even watch it.
  
• THE WHOLE NINE YARDS: I really like movies like this.
  
• THE WHOLE TEN YARDS: Enough to buy the crappy sequels!
  
• THE CODE? or maybe it's called CODE 51?: Didn't even watch it.
  
• FREE TIBET: Some concert thing. Never watched this one either.
  
• three workout DVDs (as if!)
  
• SCREAM 2: Can't watch this without sleeping with the lights on for a year afterwards
  
• TWO WEEKS NOTICE: Hugh Grant is delightful!
  

VHS:

• DUDE WHERE'S MY CAR: This is not a terrible movie.
  
• HIGH FIDELITY: The book is better. And I rarely say that! Except...
  
• WHERE THE HEART IS: The book is better.
  
• ALI G INDAHOUSE: Unwatchable. And I love Ali G!
  
• DOGMA: One of my faves. Bought it on DVD. Frequent quote around our house is, "What are you going to do, hit me with a fish?"
  
• CAST AWAY: Never even unwrapped this because I caught it on cable.
  
• RUSH HOUR 2: Super funny. But only once.
  
• DETROIT ROCK CITY: I don't remember anything about this movie except Eddie Furlong. And I barely even remember him.
  

DESTINATION: The DVD's went to Tunes (and netted a whopping $4), the VHS's went to Goodwill.

Day 147-150: Wall Art

You know your wall art is classy when you post it on Facebook for free and get crickets -- obviously because your friends are too intimidated to hang such classy artwork on their walls for fear of looking snobbish. Right? That's why, right?

We've got an Ansel Adams poster, a fairy poster (perfect for grown-ups!), abstract art from Target (note the way the fake plastic frame, painted to look like wood, is ripping apart at the seam), and a collage frame that's actually cute except we couldn't figure out how to fit all our friends into one frame, so we just left it empty.

DESTINATION: Goodwill.